By: Megan Born, Staff Editor
It was late January, and things with Matty had been rocky, we were fighting about everything, and god forbid I should call him during practice. The new year got off to a bad start, so it was helpful when we were back to school. For some reason he was different there. He wasn’t as uptight as he had been over the break. It was weird, like pizza pancakes. He felt distant like a long lost star, and I was over it.
It had almost been 3 months since we got together and something was off, more than usual. I didn’t know what to do, so I went to talk to Angela. Angela was different, she wasn’t like the other girls at my school, she understood what it was like to be caught between a boyfriend and a reputation and an act.
“Uhh, hold on…Yes I know what you think I said but thats not what I said, I said I wanted two large pizzas with…well yes…okay thank you bye…”, she hung up the phone so fast you could have gotten whiplash. Maybe this wasn’t such a good time.
“Never..”, I started to say nevermind but she had that look of disapproval on her face, so I continued, “You see, ever since we got from break, he’s been distant, and I don’t know how to approach him about it, because I don’t want to seem clingy, and I know it’s stupid, but I feel like he’s avoiding me.”
“He’s not, you know that, he just has a lot on his pate, and….”
“And what? If he has a lot on his mind then maybe he should tell someone, someone like, hmm I don’t know, maybe his girlfriend?”, I felt my face flush, and I got that I-feel-like-I’m-going-to-cry-lump in my throat, and through all of this she just sat and listened. This is why I can’t live without Angela, she was patient and she listened like a little puppy.
“Look Boo, I know it seems like there’s nothing to look forward to, but trust me there is a silver lining in this storm, you just have to find it.”
“Thanks Ang…you’re the best.”
“Yeah, where to?”
And after a short lunch at the park, we headed back to school. It was nice, being able to get out to get my mind off of things, but something still wasn’t right. I felt it in my gut, like that feeling you get when you just got off a really big roller coaster, and you stand on solid ground, but it feels like you’re on an iceberg rocking back and forth.
By the time we got back to campus, the bell had just rung and 5th period was about to start. Then, it happened, Samantha was standing by the door waiting for me, and she had that oh-my-gosh-you-gotta-hear-this face, and I didn’t like it.
“Umm, we need to talk…”, she said her expression uneasy
“About, Matty…oh god this is so hard because you’re my best friend and all, but he’s breaking up with you.” At that moment in time, my heart stopped it literally felt like my heart had been ripped out, and torn to shreds by my “best-friend”, it wasn’t right. And suddenly I felt unstable like I was standing in a boat in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly, it was really hot and I felt like I couldn’t breath, so I ran. I locked my self in the bathroom and I cried. Just stood there and cried for what felt like forever.
The next few weeks were hard. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want to eat, talk, I didn’t want to do anything but sleep. Then, sleep became a problem, he was all I could think about, and pretty soon, all I could dream about. It was hard, and I felt as if I had no one to turn to.
“I don’t know, he’s still on my mind, he’s all I can think about, I just…miss him.” I felt my face flush, like I was going to cry, but I wouldn’t let myself.
“It’s okay to miss him, it really is.” Angie’s face was sympathetic, but I knew she was getting tired of listening to it. It was the same everyday. I would show up late, just before the last bell. Angie would be standing there, and I would try and fake a smile, but she would see right through it.
And now it had been almost 3 weeks since the breakup and I was still floundering, but according to Jessica, so was he.
“He misses you,” she said one day in period 4.
“I miss him too, but I can’t just wait around for him to grow up.I love him, but he’s over it.”
“Or am I?” I turned around so fast and there he was standing there with a dozen roses, “I love you Auden, I always have and I always will.”