By: Megan Born,Staff Writer
April had just ended, and as you can probably guess, it sucked. Everything had sucked since me and Matty broke up. Well, not everything…You see right after me and Matty broke up, I started going out with this one guy, Collin. He was funny, nice, sweet, cute, he was everything I could want in a boyfriend, That was, until the fights started.
It was always something little, and it was always “my fault.” For a while, I was okay with it, you know. I just kept telling myself that every new couple has fights…right? But nothing changed. It would be okay for a while, but then we would fight for days. I was over it, and Angela was getting tired of seeing me cry.
“Why do you waste your time on him? Is he really worth it?”
“I don’t know, he’s just…”
“He’s just…what? Just sweet? Just perfect? Just cute? No! He’s not, Auden, he’s bad for you and you know that. Look I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but are the few good times, really worth all the fights and tears and almost-breakups?”
“I don’t know, maybe, maybe it’s just a rough patch.”
“No, a rough patch happens once in awhile, but this, this is just toxic. Auden, your relationship with Collin is toxic.”
“No it’s not…”
“Then what is it…huh? Because it’s not happy, it’s not fun, and it’s not healthy. It’s not healthy for you to be under this much stress. He’s not worth this much stress. No guy ever is.”
“Maybe, you’re right.”
“Okay, your right! What now?”
“That’s up to you, your relationship, not mine.”
“Really, not your relationship? Sure seems like it to me,”
“Ha…you’re funny! As if I would ever make that mistake again!”
“So what do I do, talk to him?”
“Or you could dump him…” She smiled, that evil, vindictive smile.
“No…Im not dumping him…I love him.”
“Blah, Blah…we’ve all been there Boo…all of us.”
The bell rang, and we walked out of fourth period. Maybe she was right, maybe this was just a glitch in the system, but I just wasn’t ready to face the truth. Maybe I was protecting myself from further damage. Maybe ending it was the only way to save my sanity. The truth is, I don’t know, or care because I’m not perfect, neither is he, and maybe thats how it’s supposed to be.
The next week was as it usually was, we fought through Wednesday and made up on Thursday night. We were fine on Friday and Monday, but just like clockwork as soon as Tuesday rolled around I had done something wrong.
“Im done…” It was fourth period now and I needed to vent. Poor Angela, always the victim of my sob stories.
“So why don’t you tell him?”
“Because you know I can’t do that. You know how much I love him, but I just can’t keep stressing about all the little things I do. I’m going to go insane! Hes my whole world, but this is getting ridiculous. I don’t know, maybe I should end it.”
“Wow thats what goes through your head.?”
“Pretty much and more, but I don’t say the other things out loud, I’d still like to be considered nice.”
“If he’s putting this much stress on you, then just end it. Boo, you can’t put yourself through all this just for the few happy times. No guy is worth that.”
It was hard to accept the fact that me and Collin just weren’t meant to be, but in the end I knew it was the right decision.
“Hey,” it was Collin.
“Hey,” my face flushed a little. I wanted to turn and run in the other direction, but I knew what I had to do. And I knew if I didn’t do it now, it was just leaving room for me to get even more hurt later.
Collin had been talking, “…Babe?”
“What’s up?” he looked concerned, but I knew he wasn’t. He was never concerned, about me.
“Listen,” he trailed off, and I knew this wasn’t good.
“I think, you know, we should…”
“You think we should, what?”
“I think we should, uhm, You know I just don’t think we fit like we used to Babe…”
“What does that even meen?”
“I love you, but you do stupid things and I don’t want to get hurt later, because I’d rather end it now and get over you before something bad happens, and I end up getting hurt.”
That was it. The end of the conversation. The end of the relationship. The end of our existence, but it was inevitable. I knew it wasn’t going to last forever, but it still hurt. And it still does. He was the guy I thought I could trust. The guy that I did trust. Against everyones recommendation, I might add. He was once my everything even though now I realize I was nothing to him. And in the end I don’t regret it, not in the least bit, because from this experience, I learned to trust no one. Ever