Dem Eggs Do
By Ryan Gardiner, staff writer
It was a dark and stormy night, and the Easter bunny was hanging out at a bar. He was sitting alone and drinking some chocolate milk (he was a milk-aholic) when the bartender told him that he had to go.
“Hey bun, you gotta go.” The bartender said
“One more drink, man.” The bunny said
“Man, you’ve been here for three hours straight. Don’t you have something to do?” the bartender said,
“I’ve got nothing in life, the eggs have been scattered and I’m just bored.” The Easter bunny said.
“Well I guess you go home and get some sleep.” He replied
“I guess you’re right.” The Easter bunny said.
Then the Easter bunny got in his egg-mobile and drove to his apartment and watched some T.V, and wondered what he should do at this time in his life. He kept thinking about what else he does other than spread out eggs on Easter.
“Maybe mom was right.” He thought
But then he got a boost of confidence and thought that he’s making a difference in the world, and that he makes children happy. But what about the children who don’t celebrate Easter, does he make them happy, or he scare them like everyone else?
“I better ask them what they think.”
So he went outside, went over to a kid and asked him.
“Do you celebrate Easter?” He asked
“Yes” The child said
“Do you like the Easter bunny?” the bunny replied.
“Mommy, it’s stranger-danger!” The child yelled.
The bunny was scared by this reaction, but he was more scared of seeing an angry mob of parents running at him. His first reaction was to go into the sewer and hide, but then he heard the police force shouting:
“Come out with your hands up, we only want to talk to you.” They shouted
He didn’t answer.
“If you don’t come out, we will come in.” The police said
He said nothing again. Then all of a sudden a tear gas container flew in and he started to run away.
“I have a secret rabbit hole up ahead, if it still works.” he thought to himself.
“Everyone fan out and find him, he’s probably still here.” A cop said.
“There it is!” The Easter bunny said.
He then jumped into the hole, which with his advanced Easter bunny technology, took him to his apartment.
“I’m never trying that again,” He sighed.
Then, on his TV, the news stated:
“The alleged suspicious man, dressed in an Easter bunny costume, has gotten away and the police hope that you stay with your children to keep them safe.
“I guess I’ve got to lay low for now, so they don’t find me.” The bunny said
“Or maybe I can reinvent myself.” He thought
So, the next Easter night we didn’t have the Easter bunny anymore, we had the superhero Bunnyman and his sidekick, the Bun Bun, to help children on Easter morning. And give them eggs.