New Year’s Conspiracy
By. James S. and Jordan N., Staff writers
It was the year 1789 when my great uncle was overthrown by the intellectual movement known as the Enlightenment. Okay, lets slow down for a minute. The name is Stanford, I am 12 years old, and ever since the clock struck twelve, I have been uneasy. It felt like the world was whispering something to me. I couldn’t tell exactly what it said, but it’s as if it said.
“Nephew…….Captured…….Help…….Illuminatus…….Overthrown.” Now, I am no genius, but I do know that Illuminatus is Latin for Enlightened. Strange, huh? Now lets begin, shall we? In modern times.
“HAPPY NEW YEARS SON!” screams Dad.
“Bill.” says Mom. “Keep your voice down. It’s literally the middle of the night. Wendy is sleeping.”
“I’m sorry honey, its just that, this year I get a raise.” says Dad. Sometimes I don’t really know about Bill. That’s about the time I hear it. Then I go to bed, which is past Wendy’s room. She is my sister, who is 16, and she doesn’t like to stay up. So let’s just say passing her bedroom is like trying to quietly swim past a lake of alligators. I take a quick peek into her room, and the moonlight is reflecting off of her blonde hair into my eyes. I make a quiet and indescribably painful sounding noise. I hear her say,“No I don’t want your enlightenment.” I don’t really know how, but I’m pretty sure I can relate to this. I get no sleep thinking about the message I got, so I get my phone out and Google it. I find that the Illuminatus movement took place around 1789. The French Revolution. Now I’m going on Ancestry.com and I find something. I find that I am related to someone who was against the Illuminatus. Strange, huh? How am I expected to save my uncle from a disaster that already happened? With time travel maybe. Maybe I just ignore it. Yeah. Thats what I’m going to do. So I put my phone away right in time for my alarm to go off. I got no sleep at all, and just in time for, drum roll please, school!
I couldn’t stop thinking about what happen this morning. Even if I tried to save my uncle, I couldn’t make a time machine. Now here I am. At school. Alone. Again. As I am walking home, I notice an old man in a dark alley. It seems as if he is building something, and as usual, curiosity gets the better of me. I trip over a rock and fall into the machine. Everything went black.
“Hey kid, get up.” says a voice. I make a groaning sound as I get up.
“Where am I?” I ask casually.
“You are in Europe, kid.” He says. I am confused by this.
“You want to join the Illuminatus kid?” he asks.
“The Illuminatus?” I ask. “What the heck is Illuminatus?”
“What is a heck?” he asks stupidly. “Illuminatus is the new age. We are going to assassinate a troublemaker who keeps crashing our meetings.” he says. Thats when I run for it. I don’t exactly know what assassinate means, but I have my theories. None of them pleasant. As I run down the streets, I notice signs that say,“Join Illuminatus 1789.” Could I have traveled back in time, or maybe it’s all just a dream. That’s when it hits me. By this, I mean someone ran into me while they were walking.
“Ow, will you watch where yer…” He said. “Well you look a-mighty familiar to me. Where you from?”
“I am from Portland, Oregon.” I say.
“O, so you live in Poorland Origin..” he says. I wasn’t about to correct him, because who knows what this guy is capable of.
“My name is Stanford Cypher.” he says.
“Is it possible that we are related?” I ask. No I didn’t really ask that, but I was about to until he said,“Do you want to help me defeat the Illuminatus?”
I hate myself for this, but I said,“I just want to go home.” Thats when everything went black. Again. I wake up to this old man poking me in the arm. I am back in the dark alley as if no time has passed whatsoever while I was gone.
“Hey kid, next time be careful as you walk.” he says.
“ I just went to 1789!” I say.
“Yes, I bet you did. This machine sends your spirit to another time and place. It’s amazing isn’t it. You can’t die while you’re in another time.” At first I was confused. Then I realized I heard his voice before.
“Are you the guy that sent me the message in my head last night?” I ask.
“Yep. I found that if your uncle never died on the day the Illuminatus found him, you and I would be the town heroes.”
“Heroes huh?” I said. “Count me in.” So the man taught me how to do everything. He taught me that when you say,“ go home, you wake up in the machine. When you push the time travel button you travel to the time and place that the screen says. Okay pause it for a moment. What about my family? What about going home? I do go home now, so don’t think I’m making everything up as I go.
When I get home, Wendy is already in bed,(Not a surprise) and Bill is playing video games in his room,(As usual) and Mom is paying Bill’s. Notice how I capitalize bills and put an apostrophe and then the S? I left out a word in that sentence. Mom is paying Bill’s lawyer. This is strange for mom to do this for Bill. Bill is basically our Dad, but is only just dating Mom.
“Hey, hey, hey, Lil J.” Bill says.
“My name starts with an S.” I say.
“Oh.” he says. “Well, I just wanted to do some father son bonding. Now come over here. Let’s play Rambo.” So this is what I do. I take an hour to plug in the old NES, Take 3 more hours to find Rambo in the pile of NES games, and turn the game on just in time for Dinner.
“I made baby back ribs.” says Mom. Okay maybe I did kind of enjoy the food. Okay, I loved it. But right after I finish eating, look who decided to show up to dinner tonight. Thats right my friend, ol’ Wendy herself.
“I was texting my boyfriend, and he said we should break up. I mean can you believe it? I’ve done so much for him, and this is what I get in return?” says Wendy.
“Well maybe if you weren’t always in your room texting and actually talking to him, you would have a chance with him.” I say.
“Stanford.” says Mom. “You shouldn’t talk to Wendy that way. Robert is a boy. It would be awkward for Wendy to talk to him in real life.” Then we had this argument about the awkwardness of boys, and long story short, Mom won in war, took my flag, and banished me to the most horrible place you could imagine. My room. Dun, Dun, Dun. How many people have actually made it out of their alive? The next day, I was lucky my pillow was the only thing to be destroyed.
I wake up to a doorbell at like 3:00 in the morning.
“Wanna play Rambo?” asks Bill. Long story short, we beat the whole game, I ate breakfast and went to school. When I get to school, my friends joke about the Illuminatus, while I study. I never realized how important Social Studies is until now. The past is amazing. The bell rang and I was walking over to my 2nd period class when she was standing there. It was as if heaven and earth had a baby and the baby was her. Okay pause for a second. I don’t even know this girl, but hey, why not meet her. She is the new girl, and she has nothing to do with this story because love at a young age is preposterous. Okay. Moving on. In second period, Mrs. Lincoln talks to us about the History Bee.
As I walk home from school, I see the old man I talked to the other day.
“Hey kid, do you want to do the assignment now?” he asks.
“Yeah sure.” I say. “Lets get it over with.
Now here comes the major twist. As I get into the machine, I don’t notice that the year the screen is set to is 3015 AD, and the place is set to Camp Lively Wood. Then everything goes black. I wake up in a shack. A man says,“ Hello, my name is Stanford Cypher. What is your name?”
“Uh, Stan Cypher.” I manage to say.
“Are you from the past?” Stanford asks.
“Um….Uh….” I look around. Everything is chrome. Just like in the movies. “Go home.” I say. Everything goes black(For the third time). Instead of waking up in the machine, I wake up at home. But something seems different about my home. My room doesn’t have any of my things in it, and for some reason, there is an old man sitting in the kitchen. At first I could not identify him, but then I realized this person is me as an old man. The Cypher Family tree never lies. “Go home!” I yell, but nothing happens. Then I got a wonderful idea. I realized if I jump off a cliff, I may be sent home. So I take a five mile hike up a hill. Running low on water, I keep on going. Not that I need water. Here I am immortal. When I finally make it to the top, I jump off. When I hit the ground, I feel the worst possible pain. But thanks to my immortalness, and time travel rules, everything goes black,(For the fourth time).
Finally I wake up in the machine. “Hey mister. what was that about?” I ask.
“Sorry ‘bout that son. There was a minor glitch in the system, so I had to reboot it while you were still in the machine. That is why you were lost in time.”
“Okay, now let’s remember to set the machine to 1789, in Europe. The day of the assassination. I’m starting to think that it means killing someone.”
“It does.” he says.
“Oh.” I say.
“Yeah, O.” he says.
“Now, let’s get down to business.” I say. I get into the machine and set the time and place to the proper one. I push the button. And yes, I said it 4 times, everything goes black,(Now I have said it 5 times).
I wake up at a seat were a public announcement is going on. “Of all my years of being mayor, I have never seen such dishonor. The Illuminatus shall be stopped immediately.” says Stanford Cypher. Now I see a man holding a weapon of some kind. I freak out because my mission is to keep Stanford alive.I was running towards the stage to block Stanford. The man throws his dagger, and it cuts me. Thank goodness I am immortal here. I take the dagger and say,“The Illuminatus be gone.” After that I grab the assassin and say,“Go home.” As I enter the warp zone, I push the man into the black hole surrounding the warp zone. He completely disappears forever.
I wake up back in the machine, like no time has passed. As I get out of the machine, I see the old man. He says,“Hello, my name is Bill.” At first I was confused, but then I realized that Bill as an old man went back in time to make himself popular as a young man, so he can return home as a hero.
“Thank you Bill.” I say.
When I get home, I see my family all dressed up like they had a lot of money. It was then when I realized since the speech was successful, my family inherited Stanford Cypher’ fortune. We are rich.
I turn on the T.V. and on the news, the announcer says,“Now we are experiencing Illuminatus attacks. We even captured one and they said, and I quote,“We are going after the Cyphers. It’s the kid we want.” We don’t really understand what this means but usually we find what they want.”
To be continued…