Puns, Puns Everywhere
By Eric G. and Lylianna L.; Staff writer
What’s brown and sticky? A stick
If you work security at a Samsung store does that make you a guardian of the galaxy?
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
A man walked into a bar, and then said “OW!”
I figured something out! Noses run and feet smell!
If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?
I was going to open a mattress store in Las Vegas, but it’s the city that never sleeps! I guess it’s time to put that idea to bed.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.
If you give a man a cow, he will eat for a week. If you teach a man to cow, you probably just started a new dance craze called the cow.
Becoming a vegetarian would be a missed steak
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I used to be a banker, but lost interest.
I quit my job at the donut shop. I hated the hole business.
Whenever Peter Pan punches, they neverland.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Broken puppets giveaway! no strings attached!
I broke my finger yesterday. but on the other hand, i’m fine.
I tried wearing skinny jeans, but I could never pull it off.
I want a camouflaged shirt, but I can never find one.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
What do you call a cow with no milk? An udder failure.
I break into song a lot, but that’s only because I always lose the key.
I used to work for H&R Block, but it was just too taxing.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Velcro – what a rip off!
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
Do you want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.
What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway!
A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative
Mayan Alpaca Lips
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.