Need a Laugh?

Puns, Puns Everywhere

By Eric G. and Lylianna L.; Staff writer




What’s brown and sticky? A stick

If you work security at a Samsung store does that make you a guardian of the galaxy?

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

A man walked into a bar, and then said “OW!”

I figured something out! Noses run and feet smell!

If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?

I was going to open a mattress store in Las Vegas,  but it’s the city that never sleeps! I guess it’s time to put that idea to bed.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it.

If you give a man a cow, he will eat for a week. If you teach a man to cow, you probably just started a new dance craze called the cow.

Becoming a vegetarian would be a missed steak

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I used to be a banker, but lost interest.

I quit my job at the donut shop. I hated the hole business.

Whenever Peter Pan punches, they neverland.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

Broken puppets giveaway! no strings attached!

I broke my finger yesterday. but on the other hand, i’m fine.

I tried wearing skinny jeans, but I could never pull it off.

I want a camouflaged shirt, but I can never find one.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

What do you call a cow with no milk? An udder failure.

I break into song a lot, but that’s only because I always lose the key.

I used to work for H&R Block, but it was just too taxing.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Velcro – what a rip off!

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.

Do you want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.

What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway!

A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative

Mayan Alpaca Lips

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

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